


Truth

by Evelyn6



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hope, Pre-episode: s06e09, Reconciliation, Rumbelle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 13:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8625586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evelyn6/pseuds/Evelyn6
Summary: They finally talk, and at last find some common ground and perhaps even some hope in the darkness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was really, really hard for me to write - to stay as true to canon as I could while still honoring the Rumbelle we all know. I hope it helps make some sense of this senselessness, and gives some hope when we see so little on the show. 
> 
> This was written based on the promo stills for episode 9 as well as the script tease from Adam. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I love Rumple and I love Belle. I think they have both made mistakes (and are both being written ooc). That said, I still believe their love is true and that they will find their way back to each other. Please be kind with your comments.

Belle took a deep breath as she watched Emma and Hook exit the library, leaving her alone amidst the dusty shelves. Her gaze fell to the books spread out before her, all manner of tomes on ancient magic that she had been pouring over since Rumple had left the previous day. The thought of him, his image conjured to her mind's eye, made her drop her hand to her stomach, her fingers cradling the slight curve where their son lay growing.

Desperation was churning like fire in her veins; desperation and fear and uncertainty all buzzing beneath her skin in a combination that made her head swirl. She just needed to know that their son would be safe. That was all she wanted - for him to have a future. From where she stood lately, the future seemed like something that was slipping from her fingers. Where she had once been certain of what it held, now it loomed before her, a mire of unknown that made her stomach churn.

Her fingers fiddled with the edges of the pages of the book in front of her, but her eyes couldn't absorb any of the words printed there. Her gut told her that this was not the right path, that she was seeking help in all the wrong places, but her mind still fought the one place where she knew she would find an open ear, and one as invested in her and her child's safety as she. But had she burned that bridge to the ground beyond repair... that, she didn't know.

As if her troubled thoughts had conjured him, she felt a shift in the air behind her. There was a spark that made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, the unmistakable tang of magic crackling around her and sending a shiver down her spine. It wasn't from fear; not of him. No, she trembled with excitement every time he was near; her body calling for his even now. She half expected to feel the heat of him behind her, to feel his arms slip around her waist as they had so many times before. But his touch never came, and she felt disappointed even though she knew she had long since stopped deserving the comfort of his arms.

"Hello, Rumple," she breathed as calmly as she could, her fingers stilling as she looked over her shoulder. He was standing on the other side of the small room, his hands clasped before him as he met her eyes. He was trying to look assured, confident, but she knew him too well to miss the way his fingers twitched and his eyes flickered with uncertainty. He was nervous.

For all his darkness and power, he was still that unsure, gentle man beneath it all. Kindness so tired of being broken that it barricaded itself behind steel and stone. But she saw it. Furthermore, she loved it. That was why it broke her heart to see him fight so hard to keep his mask in place - because he didn't need to.

"Belle," he said quietly.

She didn't know why it bothered her, the way he said her name. She frowned at the way the corner of his mouth curved as he formed the word, at the reverence that was still in his voice even after everything she had done. Maybe that was why her heart was suddenly thudding with frustration. She could _hear_ his love for her; could see it shining in his eyes. And she didn't deserve it. Not in the slightest.

She had hurt him. She had spent the last few weeks trying to put distance between them and had done unforgivable things even in the months before that. That he could love her, even now, made her stomach twist in anger. Not at him so much as at herself, but she still wished he would stop looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the world. She wished he would stop brushing off the mistakes she made, telling her with everything he did that if she simply asked, he would forget it all and take her back.

It made her even angrier that that was all she wanted.

"Why are you here?" she asked sharply, her voice steelier than she intended. He flinched where he stood, his mask falling in the heavy, regretful silence that followed.

"Belle, I... I wanted to apologize..."

She sighed, his hesitancy softening her anger and encouraging her to turn and face him fully. He seemed relieved when she did, and she wondered if he had thought she wouldn't hear him out. She couldn't blame him, really. She hardly recognized herself in the woman who stormed out rather than listening. The neither of them were any good at mending. But she would try. For him and for their child.

He took a few steps forward, unclasping his hands as he did so to fidget with his wedding ring.

"I panicked," he admitted softly, gesturing regretfully at the bracelet that still adorned her wrist. "And I'm sorry. I just... I can't lose another son. I can't lose either of you before I've even had a chance to make things right; to prove to you both that I love you."

She couldn't meet his eyes as she swallowed around the lump his words had caused in her throat. She didn't feel brave enough to address the fact that he didn't _need_ to prove his love, so she addressed the other half of his words instead. "Well, I did force your hand a bit. I shouldn't have gone to Zelena."

That was easy enough to admit, at least. If there was one time when Rumplestiltskin could be counted on to make rash decisions, it was when he was backed into a corner. It didn't excuse what he had done, but she could understand why he had done it. To him, she had threatened to take his child away from him. It hadn't been her intention - not the whole of it anyway - but as he so often said, intent was meaningless.

She should never have gone to Zelena. The woman was a monster, and no amount of redemption would ever change the things she had done. But she was the only one who had the ability to open a portal to the Enchanted Forest and all Belle could remember feeling was the desperation clenching its claws around her heart and she had been blind to anything else.

"I just... I wanted to be safe," she explained, her eyes filling with tears as the weight of her fear descended upon her again. "For one second I just wanted to feel safe."

She heard him make a small sound of distress and he closed the distance between them, his hands making like they would reach for her but stopping short of actually touching her.

"Belle... You know I would never do anything to harm you... You - You must know that..." he said, his voice cracking and his brown eyes beseeching hers.

She sighed, and nodded once. "I know. But it's not just you I have to worry about, is it? Gods, Rumple, I'm carrying the child of the greatest Dark One to ever exist. Since the moment he came into existence, I've been a target. And worse, _he_ is," she cried, her hands wrapping around her stomach.

The very day she learned that she was pregnant, she also learned that her husband had taken back the Dark Curse and that the lord of the Underworld held a contract that would allow him to claim her child. While she didn't blame Rumple for doing what was necessary to protect Bae all those years ago, it didn't change the fact that one of the happiest moments of her life also came with such devastating news. Hearing that she might lose her child before she had even had a chance to feel him growing inside her... well, it had changed her.

And even Rumple couldn't deny her fear, his eyes flashing with pain as he stood before her.

"I would protect you. I _will,_ Belle _._ "

"Yes, and at what cost? All magic comes with a price; you know that better than anyone," she reminded him. "It was different when it was just you and me. When my choices were my own. But now they affect our son, too. And so long as your actions are driven by darkness, I can't risk that the price may be his to pay."

"Belle, the darkness is part of me," he insisted as she expected him to, his face torn.

She had to force herself not to nod. She knew that. Knew it and accepted it. Loved him for it, even. But he needed to know that the other side of him was valuable, even without the darkness. She needed that side of him now. "It's a tool, Rumple; it's not _you_. _You_  can be a good man without it."

"Yes. True. But Belle, after all this time, don't you know... I will never be the man you think I can be."

He reached for her now, his hand clasping her elbow, and her heart lurched at the touch. It cried out for him to wrap his arms around her, to hold her so tightly that the world slipped away and all she knew was the warmth and comfort of his arms. It would be as easy as breathing. She also knew that if she gave in, the only thing she had left - her control - would be lost.

"It doesn't have to be that way," she whispered.

He dropped his hand with a sigh, and she didn't know whether she felt relieved or disappointed. Her heart was still thudding an uneven staccato in her chest and her skin was tingling from his touch and if he only knew how much she longed to let go of her fears and insecurities and just _love_ him again.

He was grasping for words; she could see it. Could see them flash across his face before he dismissed them and reached for new ones. His mouth opened a few times - to argue, it seemed - but in the end he merely dropped his shoulders and lifted his eyes to hers with something like defeat written on his face.

"Belle, why can't you just love me for who I am now?" he asked.

She felt his words like a punch to her gut. Guilt wrenched inside of her, compounding her already broken and battered heart, and she felt her resolve slip straight through her fingers.

"I _do_  love you," she cried. "That's precisely the problem. I love you with every single breath I take. Every time my heart beats, it cries out for you. I hate this, Rumple. I hate being apart from you."

"Then... why?" he whispered, his eyes wide and pleading.

And wasn't that the question that lay at the heart of it all: why. She wasn't even sure she knew. There was too much uncertainty and fear for her to be able to sift through and find what had caused it all. So, she opened her mouth and hoped the answer would somehow fall off her tongue.

"Because," she begged, somehow willing him to understand. "Because if I'm not one of the heroes, if I don't stand up for something and pretend to be brave, then I have _nothing._  This is the only thing I can _do_ , Rumple. I don't have magic; I'm no savior. I'm nobody. And if I allow it, fate will walk all over me - and our son."

She reached for him this time, knowing she shouldn't but needing the comfort regardless.

"I'm terrified, Rumple. There is a threat around every corner: Hades, Jekyll, Hyde, the Evil Queen, Zelena. And sometimes, even you," she admitted, though she rushed to clarify before he could take that the wrong way. "I know you would never hurt me. But the consequences of your choices can. And you still choose to withhold things from me. You still make the wrong choices. You still choose the darkness."

He cupped her face between his palms, his eyes brimming with tears even as he brushed her own off her cheeks. "I choose _you._  I can have the darkness and still be a hero, Belle. I can be y _our_ hero. If you just let me."

She closed her eyes as she leaned into his hand, willing her soul to simply believe his words. And in his arms, she finally found the truth. "I can't lose you again, Rumple."

If she dared to open her heart to him - to love and hope and faith - and he broke it, he would break her along with it. And that might be okay, if it were just her at risk. But she had a child, now. She had closed off her heart so that she might still have it intact for another. She had begged him to choose the light because the dark was filled with an uncertainty that she couldn't bear. She loved him to the very depths of her soul, but loving him had already broken her once - the day she saw him with his fingers wrapped around Hook's heart. The day she was forced to put herself before her love for him.

Still, when her husband leaned forward to press his forehead to hers, she followed, leaning into him and allowing him to be her pillar, even if it was only for a moment. With him so close, things didn't feel so bad. It didn't feel like the world was crumbling around her, tugging her in every direction as she tried to decipher the 'right thing to do.' She was constantly torn between her head and her heart, her mother's voice telling her about heroism and the reality of the world that told her that things weren't always so black and white. With him, it all narrowed down to them. And the two of them was so much easier than the world.

There was a time when she had been happy; when they had been happy. When the future was filled with opportunities and she never had reason to doubt herself nor the man beside her. So much had happened these past few years to open her eyes, to challenge her beliefs and her love. Through it all, she had never stopped loving him. Not for a single moment. But love and trust were two very different things, and they both knew it.

"I know you have no reason to believe me when I promise you this, sweetheart, but I won't let you down again," he whispered against her skin, and she felt his lips press a kiss to her forehead before he leaned back.

He nudged her nose with his, a question in his amber eyes. He didn't move any lower, wouldn't take what wasn't given freely, but the space between them didn't last. A mere second later she was leaning up on her toes to capture his mouth, and though she worried at how she might feel, she felt none of the regret she thought she might when her lips met his.

He didn't rush her; didn't press where she hadn't already led. It was delicate and soft, and she breathed a small sigh as their mouths moved against each other, a sort of peace settling over her frazzled mind as the taste of him flooded over her tongue. No, there was no regret. Just love. Finally, something simple and easy and _right._  


"You don't have to say 'yes,'" he said quietly when they parted. "In fact, I hope you don't. Let me prove it to you. Just... just give me a chance."

She didn't answer him right away, but her eyes still met his - a spark of hope alighting in them for the first time in weeks. She didn't know how she managed it, only that his eyes were shining with an honesty that she so rarely saw and a love that still took her breath away. It calmed her in a way that nothing else had. It made her feel safe. It turned desperation into faith. Faith that perhaps he could be her strength, for once. That perhaps, instead of always trying to 'fix' him, she could allow him to put her back together again.

_True Love is the most powerful magic of all._

Maybe it was that magic they needed. Not her books or her misguided attempts at heroism. Just them, and love. She knew it wouldn't erase what they had put each other through; the hurt and the disappointment that remained yet to be mended. But perhaps if they started there, the rest might follow. Perhaps if she gave him a chance, it might turn out to be everything she had wished for. It had been, once. 

She clenched her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving way to hope as she fell into his arms. He pulled her close, hugging her so tightly there was sure to be not a breath of space between them as he buried his nose in her hair.

"You are not alone, my Belle," he promised, his hands fisting the back of her sweater as he held her.

"Neither are you," she whispered in return, feeling the pieces finally slip back into place and the beginnings of a future start to form again.

When he released her, she was loathe to leave him, but he only pulled back far enough that he could slip his hand into his coat to retrieve something: a vial filled with gold sand that he held towards her.

"This is sand from the Temple of Morpheus. If you wish it, we can speak to our son," he said. "We can try to figure this out. Together."

She felt the corner of her mouth quirk in a smile and she nodded.

"Together."


End file.
